footprintsontheceiling

Dear God, Part III

In Conversations with God on September 15, 2009 at 11:26 pm

pray

Dear God,

Now you’re just messing with me.  In one paragraph, you say it is pointless to question you about “bad things” because they you “had nothing to do with them,” but in another paragraph, you say “Put your faith and trust in Me when all else fails (and if you’re smart you’ll do BEFORE all else fails) and things will work out fine.”  Well, which is it?  Either I put my faith and trust in You, like so many people on my planet do, or I don’t, because you have nothing to do with my fate anyway.  Seriously, that’s a conundrum.  I lean towards not questioning you, as you know, because I’m doubting your existence anyway, but you’re going to freak a lot of people here out if you truly have no control over what happens.  Because honestly, many people think you do.  Now I tend to think many of them are sheep and follow organized religion a little too blindly, but to think of the ramifications of our society not having a God to believe in makes me shudder.

Me, on the other hand, I’m a skeptic.  And really, God, I’ve dropped the duplex price 20%, and we’ve had 19 showings of my duplex in the last month….and still no buyers.  And you know, if you exist, the toll this is taking.  On my relationship with my wife, on my finances, and on me.  You know.  If you exist.  And yet you don’t intervene.  Sure, there might be something to learn from all this….if that’s the point.  Look, all I tried to do was strengthen my family’s financial position in life, and now it’s a possibility that I’m going to spend the rest of my life paying people back money that they’re rightfully owed.  Which is really just stupid, because it never should have come to this.  And it makes me truly doubt your existence, because I’m a decent human being and this is unwarranted, based on my life performance.

But you know what, God?  I’m not gonna go off and do something stupid.  I’m not gonna join the crazies of today and murder my family or run off to Vegas to live with a 22 year old cocktail waitress….although that thought it tempting at times.  No, I’m still a better man than that.  While at times this whole situation makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for a week or go off on a bender to beat all benders, I’m not gonna do that.  Because that’s not what a Man does.  In my world.  A Man stands in, takes the heat, absorbs the blows, and deals with what life throws at him.  And while I’ve been doing that for a long, long time now, I’ve got some more gas in my tank.  And I will persevere.  And I will be a Father to my children and I will be a Leader in my community and I will get out of this with whatever amount of damage is necessary.  Because that’s who I am.  And that’s what Life is.

But you know all that.  If you exist.

Best,

Jeff

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  1. Hi, Jeff!!! I was “googling” some stuff and luckly i found this post! Just to say that I’ve found it very cool and funny! take care…

    Ps. I want to ask does god take criticism? ’cause he never answers… check my blog post about god too : http://thethresholdofconsciousness.blogspot.com/2008/02/gods-will-original-sin.html

    Eduardo

    Note: I’m portuguese although I hope there’s no major mistakes!

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